The Notorious B.O.B.

The debate has raged for ages; should the people have the right to bear arms or not? The Second Amendment protects it, but could the Framers have predicted the power weapons could give an individual in today's world?

I have unearthed evidence that shows three reasons why we should continue to have the right to bear arms, including quotes from the Founding Fathers to back these claims up.

The first reason: To be prepared for the inevitable invasion of robots from the future.

"Sir, it can be said with utter certainty that one day men of great power forged of metal will assault our great nation and thusly we, as a state, must prepare a militia for this inevitable war or ultimately we will fall." -George Washington, in a letter to his general

The second reason: To arm the people for a possible zombie breakout.

"It cannot be stressed with enough emphasis that the people must have the right to bear arms in order to protect one another from a possible uprising of the undead." - Ben Franklin

And finally, the third (and most likely) reason: Aliens have landed.

"Dare the thought reach my lips, but I must speak it, what if the short grey men of my dreams are, in fact, reality and prepared to land on God's Earth? What can the common man do in such an instance unless he has prepared himself with his musket? The right to bear arms, quite obviously, must be upheld. Only then can we, the people, rest in comfort that this nation will be triumphant over the inferior space man." - John Adams, on his death bed.

Fuck.

I had a friend from France once. Jacque was his name. He was your typical average Frenchman. You would never catch him without his trademark beret. I guess Jacque just liked how well it matched the horizontal black stripes of his shirt. He rode his bicycle everyday to the croissant factory where he worked.

Jacque could speak English, one just had to adapt to his thick French accent. Once you grew accustomed to it, you were in for some deep thoughts.

He once said, with that witty snide French voice, "Life mah friend...she iz...a bee-ch." Then he spat on the floor.

I remember being deeply touched by those words. I just marveled at the complexity of that metaphor. I kept saying to myself, "Wow...Life....is a BEACH!" Jacque was saying how we should just enjoy life like a vacation to the beach. The grains of sand could represent the seconds of time. The vastness of the ocean could represent the eternity of the after-life and the bright sun in the sky could be the love of God. It was at that moment I felt at peace.

Jacque continued, with some more French vigor, "A dur-tee, dur-tee beech, mah friend." He then took time to adjust his ratty moustache and then spat on the floor again.

My friend Jacque had thrown me a curveball. Just when I thought he was talking about the how life should be comforting like a day at the beach, he took his metaphor to a new level.

Now he was saying life is a 'dirty beach'. Something so pure and innocent such as life is often sullied by the evils of this world. The obvious reference of 'a polluted paradise' was there, but so was the more subtle nod to his overwhelming sadness. This man, I thought, is a genius.

I applauded him on his enlightening statement and showered him with compliments over this amazingly simple, yet striking metaphor. I then asked him how else was 'life like a beach'.

For a moment he grew silent. His unwashed face twisted with rage and Jacque then proceeded to 'enlighten me':

"Fuck you, you stoo-pid Amer-ican! I said 'BEECH!' 'BEE-CH!', B-I-T-C-H! BEE-CH! Life, she iz a dur-tee BEECH! Fuck you! I spit in your gener-al direction!"


So there you have it.

Life....she is a bitch.

Notorious is in full effect tonight. Been busy with work and classes. But I thought I'd drop by and update the blog a bit.

I hope you like, my babies. I hope you like.

Debating on what picture to put in my profile, but rest assused if I do decide....you'll have have your own respective "-gasms."

The Earth will quake and you WILL see God.

And be sure to tell G.O.D. the B.O.B. sends his regards.