Saturday, September 25, 2004
Happiness is a Warm Gun.
The debate has raged for ages; should the people have the right to bear arms or not? The Second Amendment protects it, but could the Framers have predicted the power weapons could give an individual in today's world?
I have unearthed evidence that shows three reasons why we should continue to have the right to bear arms, including quotes from the Founding Fathers to back these claims up.
The first reason: To be prepared for the inevitable invasion of robots from the future.
"Sir, it can be said with utter certainty that one day men of great power forged of metal will assault our great nation and thusly we, as a state, must prepare a militia for this inevitable war or ultimately we will fall." -George Washington, in a letter to his general
The second reason: To arm the people for a possible zombie breakout.
"It cannot be stressed with enough emphasis that the people must have the right to bear arms in order to protect one another from a possible uprising of the undead." - Ben Franklin
And finally, the third (and most likely) reason: Aliens have landed.
"Dare the thought reach my lips, but I must speak it, what if the short grey men of my dreams are, in fact, reality and prepared to land on God's Earth? What can the common man do in such an instance unless he has prepared himself with his musket? The right to bear arms, quite obviously, must be upheld. Only then can we, the people, rest in comfort that this nation will be triumphant over the inferior space man." - John Adams, on his death bed.
I have unearthed evidence that shows three reasons why we should continue to have the right to bear arms, including quotes from the Founding Fathers to back these claims up.
The first reason: To be prepared for the inevitable invasion of robots from the future.
"Sir, it can be said with utter certainty that one day men of great power forged of metal will assault our great nation and thusly we, as a state, must prepare a militia for this inevitable war or ultimately we will fall." -George Washington, in a letter to his general
The second reason: To arm the people for a possible zombie breakout.
"It cannot be stressed with enough emphasis that the people must have the right to bear arms in order to protect one another from a possible uprising of the undead." - Ben Franklin
And finally, the third (and most likely) reason: Aliens have landed.
"Dare the thought reach my lips, but I must speak it, what if the short grey men of my dreams are, in fact, reality and prepared to land on God's Earth? What can the common man do in such an instance unless he has prepared himself with his musket? The right to bear arms, quite obviously, must be upheld. Only then can we, the people, rest in comfort that this nation will be triumphant over the inferior space man." - John Adams, on his death bed.
