The Notorious B.O.B.

I'm alive folks!! (Too bad Tupac isn't. Zinger!)

Sorry I haven't blogged or e-mailed in some time. I've had some computer troubles or lack of access to an Internet connection for some time.

Chrissy and I are moving into a new place on March 25 and we'll get settled in in the coming days and get a computer, Internet and all of that jazz.

I've been at a new job for about a month. My official title is 'Advertising Sales Executive'. It sounds more impressive than it really is, but its good experience. Plus I may get to do some design work for the newsletter they are putting together, etc.

Its for a new company that focuses on the senior market: 'Forget-Me-Not Marketing Solutions Ltd.

Last week I went to a speech by former President Bill Clinton on US/Canada relations. That was, for me at least, a kick-ass experience that I'll never forget. But then again, I'm a politics nerd.

Edmonton, to its credit, is shockingly similar to most cities in 'the States'. But then again Alberta (the province for which Edmonton is the capital city of) is known as 'the Texas of Canada'. To be fair, thats more for their oil production, but I digress.

The job market is booming in this city. You can't walk three feet without seeing some sort of 'help wanted' sign.

The weather has still been fairly warm, although we were dumped with snow last night and today. I've never seen so much snow fall so fast. It was incredible.

Some things about this country, like the popularity of the 'sport' of curling or their preference for old English spellings (centre, colour, defence, etc.), I'll never understand, but overall its pretty cool here.

I'm going to try to get some pics up soon and attempt to blog more often.

Catch you suckers later. Peace.

Announcement for Immediate Release

Attn: To Whom It May Concern (i.e. all those wanting to jump my junk)

I'd like to give this message to all the hoes, skeezers, skanks, sluts, freaks, groupies and hangers-on out there looking for their shot at the 'Notorious One'....

Sorry ladies: B.O.B. is taken. For life y'all.

A certain Canuck named Chrissy snagged me in her net and dragged my back to her igloo for some late night 'baby seal clubbing', if you know what I mean (and...I think you do).

More information will be forthcoming.

That is all.

Sorry its been awhile since my last post, but I was getting my classes out of the way, working and rocking the new Nails album on repeat.

But things have since calmed down, so I'll try to update you on life in general.

I saw 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' finally and its very British and very funny. I highly recommend it and I will be purchasing the DVD.

Ok, this post was just to get me back into the habit.


Stay tuned for more...

Ok folks, I've had the pleasure to hear the new Nine Inch Nails album 'With_Teeth'

And rest assured: its GOOD. Its damn good. I cannot wait to buy this!

This new disc's sound is hard to describe, but its definitely more focused and refined than 1999's 'The Fragile'. 'With_Teeth' is more immediately fulfulling and will be on repeat in your car for days to come. (Note: Don't get me wrong though, I loves me some Fragile.)

Trent has brought us 13 tracks of tasty NIN goodness.

'With_Teeth' also features a couple of tracks, including the current single 'The Hand that Feeds', that harken back to the pop sensibilities of 'Pretty Hate Machine'.

We also are treated with a few raw cuts like 'You Know What You Are?' and 'Getting Smaller' that pound the listener with lots of live drumming and heavy guitars/synths/sounds.

'Right Where It Belongs' , which is probably my fave song at the moment, is just a gorgeous minimalistist song that will surely become the new 'Hurt'.

'Only' , another standout, begins with Trent performing spoken word (sort of) over some throwback synth sounds.

Bottom line: Its a frickin' Nails album! You were going to buy this beauty anyhow! So nothing I just typed mattered to you. Frankly, I'm shocked you've read this far.




Notorious 'I can still feel you, even so far away' B.O.B.

So I went drinking with a group of friends on Friday. We went to some bar I can't recall the name of at the moment.

Someone had a digital camera and we were taking goofy pictures and having a grand time.

Well, I said that I needed to go to the bathroom and I was in there for a moment, draining the lizard, if you will.

Well, my drunken 'friend' Justin coming in giggling like a little girl and I know something is wrong. I turn my head in mid stream and see a digital camera in his hands, so now I'm in full panic mode, and doing this awkward 'hide the cock' piss dance while trying not to piss on my clothes.

I'm doing all of this while screaming, 'You mother fucker! You son-of-a-bitch!'

Meanwhile, Justin continues giggling in this high pitched bubbly giggle which literally sounded like 'Tee-Hee-Hee-Hee'.

So I finish, zip up and check the camera to see if he got pics of the junk, but thankfully no.

Suddenly a stall door opens and two large redneck dudes walk out and ask 'whats going on' and without missing a beat I say 'This fucking pervert is taking pictures of people's cocks.' thinking they'll want to kick his ass.

Apparently they were paranoid about being in the same stall together they immediately reply, 'Oh we were just doing some lines in here.' and then one of them realizes what I said when he sees the camera in Justin's hands and suddenly wants to 'give him a show'.

He starts saying to Justin, 'So you wanna see it? You want a show, huh?' and the fucker starts unzipping his pants. Justin declines and then this guy starts coming after me and says, 'you wanna see it? do you want a show?' and I throw up my hands and say 'Dude, get the fuck away from me.'

Later that evening, I go to the bathroom again (Justin free) and again there are two different guys in this same stall talking about snorting cocaine!

Ahh, you gotta love this town.

How is everyone? Great.

Lord, its been awhile but I'm back into the blogging mood so y'all should feel blessed.

I actually did try to update during the Terri Schiavo fiasco, but my blog wouldn't post for some reason, but it wasn't a great post anyhow, so thats fine.

But back to the reason I was inspired to make this post: The other day I received a message from a someone I know (who shall remain nameless for shame reasons) that blew me away. It is simply the holy grail of drug induced gibberish.

And from here I shall reproduce said message VERBATIM, so prepare yourselves:


"HEY BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNBBBBBBBBBBBBBB lol
So funking soned right now/ ittttttts sooooooooooo funny m IM dygn, cant stop laughingb gonna die mo ait ,got no airrrrr lol lol ol lllllllooooolllllllll funy gha ah ha]’;
Omg I wish man I cant find the words dude fo t rue lol. English sucks man I know its funkin hardt you gotta know all these letters and finkgin stuff and such and what the fuink happwned o=t= all the airrrr? Hmmmmmmmmmmm aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr my lungs are fuzzy and my brain is the wind om floating aboew allyall and im dig amd tifnkj l. lollllll. I love u so musch u have noi u dsuA DHHH NAT JRHKJDF ALUE LOAXITR UFDB Wpiw WH uw Du Dwy OdJHSDUWE y7Tg sdgyd EYA F AGF ADHF UYSE 768 637 966666666666666666666666TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTE777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777 3TG B6U FUCK THIS IS FUNNY SGIT DUD"



Discuss.

Well Terri Schiavo has died.

And I think I speak for most people when I say........FINALLY!

Is it sad? Yes, but not for the reasons you'd think. Feeding tubes are removed every single day and you don't see Congress get involved in those.

In what should have been a private family matter was turned into a whore-ish media circus (then again what doesnt' become a whore-ish media circus in today's world).

Just last week a feeding tube was pulled on a baby against the parent's wishes in Texas and that baby subsequently died. The medical examiners had final say because the law in Texas gave them this right. Who signed this into law? You guessed it: George W. Bush.

But back to Terri Schiavo. She was in a persistant vegetative state for over fifteen years. Her cerebral cortex was liquid, she felt no pain.

But at least this got people talking about living wills.

You know....I have one.

And I ask you all to respect my wishes:

If I ever end up in a persistant vegetative state.....

Please drop me out of an airplane at 30,000 ft and don't forget to strap the parachute pack full of primed C-4 on my back. Set the timer to go off in 60 seconds.

Best fireworks show, ever.

Oh and donate whatever is left of me to science.

Hey people!

How is everyone doing? I hope everything is all right in your own respective universes.

Its snowing here. And I still have to go to work. Blah.

I haven't updated the blog in what seems to be months and I'm a little out of practice.

I've been busy with classes and my hours at work have picked up, which is nice since I need the money. I can finally stop selling my body. Score one for me!

This year is, so far, looking up and if all goes well: I'll get my Associate's and then can transfer elsewhere, will attend the very first Haynes Family Reunion this summer and (hopefully) be thinner or at least in better shape.

And I may stick around at the college long enough to take this Video Documentary Class in the fall.

And a new NIN album in May! I may finally get to see Nine Inch Nails live! Here's hoping!

And I may also have a tentative road trip planned...more on that as it develops.

Well I'm going to go but I'll really try to keep this thing more up to date. No promises though.

Peace Y'all.

Well what a kick in the shorts.....

Apparently Hunter S. Thompson, whose work I've recently gotten into, has killed himself.

I guess he shot himself in the head. He was 67.

I've nothing else to say.


Other than its a damn shame.

I can't really think of anything to write today, its been one of those so-so days.

So I'm just going to post (or at least attempt to post) some recent pics of me (for the ladies of course)





Bad lighting but its all you get!

Hey who cares? Sounds like breakfast to me!

*Ahem*

Anyway, I thought I'd do some more freewriting exercises or perhaps jot down some ideas that have been flowing through my head as of late.

Cracker factory- A poor welfare mother whose only skill in life is to continually plop out little inbred mouths that she can't possibly love. But hey that govt. check is nice.

By the way, if I hear the phrase 'Get-R-Done' one more time out of some redneck's mouth, I'm going to go to my car, retrieve my tire iron and proceed to reshape said offender's skull.

Thats how I get things done.

So one of my good friends is starting to write a story. That sounds like no big deal unless you know this person. This man never writes anything unless he's signing a check or keying a curse word into somebody's car door. Okay, I've never known him to do the latter, but I also wouldn't put it past him. The cheeky bastard.
But just the fact that he's spontaneously writing has inspired me to do the same. So expect to hear more from me in the future.

I bought a new phone Sunday. I don't know why thats worthy of a mention in this blog entry, but I'm struggling here people. How about you stop busting my balls, and I'll be able to concentrate on giving you savages more of what you want: witty, insightful blog entries chock full of profanity for that extra dash of 'street cred'. Because, as those of you who know me, not only do I 'keep it street', I likes to keeps it realz, yo. Feel me? Shee-it.

So as I listen to Radiohead's "Go to Sleep" fade away, I'd like to wish all of my loyal supporters well and I hope you're all doing well.

For those Bob-haters out there....much love to you too.


Peace.